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Meh. Too much self reflection
Jul. 8th, 2006 09:37 pmGrowing up is strange. I've been in one of those moods where I think back on my youthful self and do a weird cringe/gloat combination: like "Wow, I did what?/Gee, I lived through that, impressive!".
And missing the ones who drifted away/were pushed away/just moved on or moved away. It's not just lovers, after all, who sometimes come into your life at the wrong time or leave for reasons that weren't all that important - it happens with friends too.
And so I've got an Old 97s song going through my head here - "Nineteen" - "Nineteen/ is not the age of reason/ I didn't have a reason/ for setting you free/ I've seen/ a lot of love go sour/ but that's not our love/see the problem was/ I was only nineteen."
Looking back on so many things, doesn't that just sum it up? It wasn't that any one thing was wrong or right. It's just that you've only got so much human knowledge at nineteen (or sixteen, or twenty-one, or any age really) and sometimes things just slip away because you're not yet good enough at being yourself, knowledgeable enough, to figure stuff out. But it's only really sad if we don't take that opportunity to learn about ourselves and the world, and to try to be better, bigger people at twenty-whatever or thirty-whatever or forty-whatever than we were at 19 or 29 or 39.
And missing the ones who drifted away/were pushed away/just moved on or moved away. It's not just lovers, after all, who sometimes come into your life at the wrong time or leave for reasons that weren't all that important - it happens with friends too.
And so I've got an Old 97s song going through my head here - "Nineteen" - "Nineteen/ is not the age of reason/ I didn't have a reason/ for setting you free/ I've seen/ a lot of love go sour/ but that's not our love/see the problem was/ I was only nineteen."
Looking back on so many things, doesn't that just sum it up? It wasn't that any one thing was wrong or right. It's just that you've only got so much human knowledge at nineteen (or sixteen, or twenty-one, or any age really) and sometimes things just slip away because you're not yet good enough at being yourself, knowledgeable enough, to figure stuff out. But it's only really sad if we don't take that opportunity to learn about ourselves and the world, and to try to be better, bigger people at twenty-whatever or thirty-whatever or forty-whatever than we were at 19 or 29 or 39.
