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J., as he is brilliant, pointed something out to me: it comes down to the fact that there is a huge difference between "not chauvinist" and "feminist".
Many men are not chauvinist. Not all that many men are actively feminist. Feminist not just in the sense of "women are people too, and deserve respect" but "women are people too, and deserve all the chances to do all the stuff that men get to do, and so of course we acknowledge that men deserve all the chances to do all the stuff that women do"
I want stories where men nurture children and prepare meals and negotiate conflict. They can blow stuff up with bazookas too, of course. And I want stories where women blow stuff up with bazookas and pursue vendettas and fight wars and commit sins of pride and grandeur on a vast scale. They can make some lattes and bake gingerbread and discuss it in a well-decorated apartment after, of course. If they so desire.
And I want stories where both men and women get to create stuff and revel in their creations. Where they both pursue complex passions or obscure interests.
And I don't want to hear that men and women are just psychologically different and the women wouldn't want to blow stuff up with bazookas. As far as I understand psychology, we have no idea what part of the difference between men and women is nature or nurture, because people start treating women babies differently and rewarding them for different things almost from birth. Some women clearly enjoy cutthroat business. Some women clearly enjoy blowing stuff up with bazookas. Some women crave love and some women like it but really crave other stuff more. Bring on the bazookas, I say, and we'll figure out the rest later.
Many men are not chauvinist. Not all that many men are actively feminist. Feminist not just in the sense of "women are people too, and deserve respect" but "women are people too, and deserve all the chances to do all the stuff that men get to do, and so of course we acknowledge that men deserve all the chances to do all the stuff that women do"
I want stories where men nurture children and prepare meals and negotiate conflict. They can blow stuff up with bazookas too, of course. And I want stories where women blow stuff up with bazookas and pursue vendettas and fight wars and commit sins of pride and grandeur on a vast scale. They can make some lattes and bake gingerbread and discuss it in a well-decorated apartment after, of course. If they so desire.
And I want stories where both men and women get to create stuff and revel in their creations. Where they both pursue complex passions or obscure interests.
And I don't want to hear that men and women are just psychologically different and the women wouldn't want to blow stuff up with bazookas. As far as I understand psychology, we have no idea what part of the difference between men and women is nature or nurture, because people start treating women babies differently and rewarding them for different things almost from birth. Some women clearly enjoy cutthroat business. Some women clearly enjoy blowing stuff up with bazookas. Some women crave love and some women like it but really crave other stuff more. Bring on the bazookas, I say, and we'll figure out the rest later.
