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Lack of energy
Nov. 8th, 2007 10:52 amI know why I'm tired and blah - my apartment is filthy. I am not one of those people who is creative in the midst of chaos. I like a nice orderly, clean-surfaced environment. When I have one, I do art, write, work out, stretch well in the morning on the nice clean space on my floor.
But life gets in the way, and my brain gets tired, and I come home and read a bad romance novel or something instead of cleaning, (or post to LJ) and the place gets gross.
As an adolescent I never really understood the whole clean/dirty work thing. I know that as a kid I developed a tendency to retreat into filth and mess when I feel threatened. The idea was that having a room full of jumbled clothes and toys and books and stuff would be a slip/fall hazard for unwary approaching adults, guaranteeing at the least that they wouldn't make it to bother me without me hearing or something. Not that this theory was ever really tested, but that was the plan. So as an adult when I get nervous and threatened I tend to let my living space get jumbled and unappealing. It's a weird childhood defensive thing that didn't do anything for me as a kid, so I really need to grow out of it as an adult. So now I'm gonna throw on some loud perky music and try and actually get my life back to functioning again. The kitchen and bathroom aren't too bad because I clean those once a week come whatever - it's the landslides of paper, books, clothes (clean and dirty) and cups on all surfaces, the lack of dusting or surface cleaning in any non kitchen/bathroom area. *blech*.
But life gets in the way, and my brain gets tired, and I come home and read a bad romance novel or something instead of cleaning, (or post to LJ) and the place gets gross.
As an adolescent I never really understood the whole clean/dirty work thing. I know that as a kid I developed a tendency to retreat into filth and mess when I feel threatened. The idea was that having a room full of jumbled clothes and toys and books and stuff would be a slip/fall hazard for unwary approaching adults, guaranteeing at the least that they wouldn't make it to bother me without me hearing or something. Not that this theory was ever really tested, but that was the plan. So as an adult when I get nervous and threatened I tend to let my living space get jumbled and unappealing. It's a weird childhood defensive thing that didn't do anything for me as a kid, so I really need to grow out of it as an adult. So now I'm gonna throw on some loud perky music and try and actually get my life back to functioning again. The kitchen and bathroom aren't too bad because I clean those once a week come whatever - it's the landslides of paper, books, clothes (clean and dirty) and cups on all surfaces, the lack of dusting or surface cleaning in any non kitchen/bathroom area. *blech*.
