I haven't figured out a way to extract this ranty-rant from its trailing illogical side tendrils, but I'll do my best. Since it's a) long, and b) of undoubtedly limited interest, it's all behind the cut. Format is almost purely philosophical - I'm all about the abstraction, so whatever real-world moments may have inspired this, I think I've kept them from intruding too much into the analysis.
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