Revolting pictures

I woke up terrified early this morning, sure that the combination of the 1 cigarette I smoked yesterday and the canker sore I got from accidentally biting my cheek while eating something recently meant that I had mouth cancer. It was very entertaining, in its way, to observe the depth of my paranoia.

Anyway, after 2 hours spent surfing Google on the topics of "mouth cancer early stages" and related, I can assure you that I will never look at the relatively pleasant pink texture of the inside of a mouth with the same indifference again.

Mouths can turn some ugly, repulsive colors. And some creepy, creeeeeepy textures. I now feel more motivated to try to really quit smoking for good than I can recall ever being. Those pictures are *creepy*. And I may never find the whole regency novel snuff taking thing quite so amusing again. On a non-tobacco related note, I have to say that I will never read a novel where the characters chew betel nut again without envisaging horrible things.

On the easing my paranoia side, I have learned:
a) mouth cancer is most common among heavy smokers who are also heavy drinkers
(phew, I don't drink)
b) the cheek is one of the most common site for canker sores and one of the least common sites for early stage mouth cancer
c) the majority of the rise in the incidence of mouth cancer in young American women seems to be associated with more tongue cancers (ewww, gross)
d) none of the major health sites recommend even going to ask a doctor unless the sore persists for more than two weeks (so, two days is just not cause for paranoia).

Apologies for the grossness, but *shiver* those pictures are creepy.

Trying to get better perspective

So, do you know how hard it is to find funny easy-reader series for young reluctant readers with multi-ethnic protagonists?
I've been making a beginning chapter book list, and about a week ago I started looking for titles. And I thought "gee, it would be nice if not every book on this list was, umm, y'know, about little suburban white kids" so I looked over the WHOLE room at the library.
What I wanted was a) series of at least 2 or 3 books, that were b) funny, c) fast-paced, and d) had lots of pictures and e) big print.
So far I haven't found even one series with a non-white main character that meets all of those criteria.
What I'm thinking of is something like
Junie B. Jones, or Nate the Great, or The Magic Tree House books, but with main characters who aren't white.
And I can't think of any or find any. It's frustrating me. I've looked on the shelves, I've googled. I can find lists of books with African-American or Asian-American themes for, say, middle schoolers, but they never seem to be silly happy books.
There's a big marketing opportunity here for the first authors to write some fast funny cool stuff with neat pictures starring kids of different ethnicities.
I do note that The Captain Underpants books have one white and one black protagonist (cool), and that there are some books by Walter Dean Myers and Laurence Yep, and some really earnest looking super-easy (too easy for this list) readers by Bill Cosby.
I'm getting frustrated, that's all.